T is for… I’m Trans enough thank you very much!

I imagine that anyone reading this blog probably knows I am non-binary / transgender. It is something I am pretty keen on getting out into the world given how mach horrible bigotry there is. What people might not know is that I am guilty of some unconscious bigotry myself…against myself!

When we talk about gender diversity, one thing we discuss is gender expression. That means how you express your gender identity to the world. Everyone has a different gender expression – not just trans folks. When I was a teen and twenty-something my gender expression was quite typically masculine. I had a shaved head, wore flannelette shirts and work boots. Bus drivers and others usually called me ‘mate’. It was many kinds of awesome!

As I grew older my expression changed. I started wearing jewellery and even on occasion wore a frock! Why did I do this? Well why wouldn’t I? My gender identity remained the same through the years from then until now and now my I think my expression is androgynous and slightly feminine – if one has to assign it a description. I am agender, meaning I am neither male nor female and have no sense of gendered identity. If you ask Yenn whether they are a boy or a girl they will say ‘no.’ and they will be right. 

 My identity is not under question but I have struggled with people telling me how I should express my identity. I had one person say I shouldn’t wear a dress because I am non-binary! Who know that my dress had a sense of its own gender?? Also, if I shouldn’t wear a dress then am I allowed to wear pants? They are ‘masculine’ after all! And really mine – and everyone else’ gender expression is not a matter for criticism or judgement.

All these people and society telling me how I should dress really did a number on me, hence the bigotry I levelled at myself for some time. I used to really worry that I wasn’t trans enough. I felt like I needed to b ‘more masculine’. Of Course this is total nonsense. If you feel trans you are trans, simple as that. I learned that if I identify as trans that that is all I need to do. There are no exams for trans identity. If you identify as trans then you are. It was quite a liberating thing to come across I must say.

And in general terms, how people identify their gender is correct. It is not up to anyone else to cast judgement or give advice. This is true of other identities as well. I am autistic enough, Asexual enough and schizophrenic enough, I do not need to justify my identity or expression to anyone. Basically we are enough just as ourselves.   

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