I recently came across a new term – Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. What is this you might ask? Well, a quick Google tells me that: Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) is when you experience severe emotional pain because of a failure or feeling rejected. This condition is linked to ADHD and experts suspect it happens due to differences in brain structure. Those differences mean your brain can’t regulate rejection-related emotions and behaviors, making them much more intense.
I actually think it isn’t just ADHDers who experience this. I think a fair number of autistic people – and others – probably do too.
The description of RSD sounds so like me you wouldn’t believe it! I am terrified of criticism and feedback. Receiving constructive criticism is one of my absolute least favourite things! It makes me stressed, catastrophise and makes my self-esteem take a nose-dive. I don’t even like waiting for what I am fairly certain will be positive feedback! And making errors and mistakes fills me with dread. While part of my message as an author and advocate is for people to make positives out of failure and setbacks, I am not always following my own advice. It makes professional employment very challenging – and was a large contributing factor to me recently leaving my previous job.
A lot of people don’t understand this condition. They see it as a character flaw or something which can be changed through willpower alone. However, I know that I cannot change this part of being me just by applying some positive thinking – if I could I most definitely would as rejection sensitive dysphoria is very unpleasant and potentially very limiting.
However, if it is a part of ADHD, it can probably be viewed as primarily a negative one. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I actually quite like my ADHD as it involves lots of really nifty attributes which make it possible for me to do the things I do.
The positive qualities I experience are…
- Enthusiasm and optimism
- Humor
- Creativity
- Unconventional thinking style
- Hyper focus
- Imagination
- Excitement
- ENERGY!!!!!
These qualities are just lovely. And the best one is the affinity I feel for (most of) my fellow AuDHDers. AuDHD is I guess another neurotype – and quite a common one, I think. I keep meeting more AuDHDers (and if you have not; come across the term is means a person who is Autistic and ADHD. There are lots of us!)
While I do rather like my ADHD, I don’t think I understand it the way I do my autism – I’m looking forward to a journey of discovery in that space. It is hard to separate out the elements of my ‘me’ that are ADHD and which are my Autism. I am both things. I suspect it isn’t really possible to reliably separate them out. This is because AuDHD is probably not autism + ADHD rather it is a complex combination of the two neurotypes. In fact, I think it is probably a completely different neurotype – something which is ‘more than the sum of its parts.’ I have heard other people talk about the idea of an AUDHD neurotype too.
Many adults struggle to obtain an ADHD diagnosis. There are a lot of pervasive stereotypes around ADHD such as it is only for children / boys, that ADHDers are ‘rude’ and enfage in crime and anti-social behaviour and that the diagnosis is just an excuse for poor behaviour. I think the understanding of ADHD in adults is at a similar stage to where understanding around autism in adults was ten years ago. I think a lot of adults in the coming months and years will seek an assessment for ADHD and there will be more knowledge on the topic in both the medical world and also in wider society.
I look forward to learning more about this both from my own experience but also others’ – and maybe there will be some research literature in this area soon as well?
I will share this with you…
I have been talking about autism and employment for over ten years now. Whenever I present the topic to employers, I tell them that autistic staff members are often amazing at attention to detail. While this may well be true, it is NOT true for me! My attention to detail is horrible. I am a big picture thinker and miss errors – especially typos – all the time! This – as I have learned – is more an ADHD quality. Oh, how I wish I had the typically ‘autistic’ approach to detail not the ADHD one! Despite that I forgive my ADHD – it didn’t mean it! (And I will doubtlessly miss a large number of typos in this post!).
…And now I will go post this blog, have some dinner, cuddle Kitty and then probably do three hours of work then go to bed! Yup, the self-employed and hyper focus thing is going nicely 🙂
Yenn Purkis Autism Page 